
Saturday, March 25, 2006
met baobei today at tiong bahru plaza... i was workin when she said she felt like seeing mi so i rushed down even b4 i ended my actual workin hours... lolx...
went down there to meet her... so hapi... she was still watchin tv when i reached so i waited...
called zc to see how to walk to where she stay, then aft sum direction, i gt kinda lost... haha... nvm tt... baobei came n find mi aft her show... then when i saw her, i was delighted... then on the way to our next stop, zc called... asked mi whether i found her place anot so in the end i answered all 1 words answer...
baobei asked mi whu was it, i cant say its zc cuz he asked mi nt to say... so in the end i lied... it was a white lie... as sum of u might noe, i actually plannin sum surprise for baobei... so how? in the end at mac's, she found out abt the called was made to zc n oso zc called mi... damned bad situation... suddenly felt so damn bloody sorri for at i did... shldnt hav lied but if i was truthful, i might gt zc into trouble... n oso foil my veri own plan... haiz... i'm so dumb...
baobei was truthful to mi over MSN, think this is the onli place where we both can b totally open to one another... i dunno lah... confused again... she told mi wat she was feeling and whu she was thinkin... none of them was mi... hurt though but then i assured her tt it due to the cuz tt she dunno mi wel enough and oso the person on the phone n face-to-face is different... i told her tt she juz need to gv mi time to prove to her tt i am tt one for her...
posted at Saturday, March 25, 2006... bye...
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
wel... finally asked my baobei to b my gf... she said too fast... i respected tt... cum to think of it... how long we realli get to know one another? a week? haha...
as i was directing myself to tt million dollar qns, i was damn anxious, nervous n like scared of her reaction oso... in the end, i gt to know her answer... "b fren 1st then see how" as we hav still miles of knowledge we need to know abt one another... it takes time to do so but time oso cannot b a factor to measure LOVE rite? haha...
i am damn clear cut on how i am thinkin n feeling abt her... she did hav lotsa doubts abt mi but then it was all cleared up... all her qns... so funi n cute.. juz like her.. haha
she was askin thing abt my feelings, how i am sure its nt a crush, mich, etc... haha... i was glad to b able to answer all her doubts.. but then whether she believed anot is a different thing all together...
she said she dun wan mi to change for her but then i always feel tt guys shld change and accept gals for whu they r as this is a honour... how gals in this world u wld wanna push urself to go change for rite?
though i noe tt she is sum1 wif lotsa close guy frens, i wld tel myself nt to control her n gv her the freedom, trust tt she needs and let her do wateva she wans so long as she noes her heart is here wif mi... i muz oso understand and nt doubt or feel angry/ jealous(though its common)...
i dunno how baobei is feeling but then, i hav a rough idea though.. hha... have been askin my female close frens wat certain actions means if a gals does it to a guy... answers still quite satisfactional... haha...
tt HUIMIN missin for a few days already... say wld clarify things wif mi but then she is either nt free, working, church, cell or sumthin else... i dunno her liao lah... juz feel tt our frenship in her mind is juz worth tt small n little... do wateva she wans... dun wanna b bothered liao...
posted at Wednesday, March 22, 2006... bye...
Sunday, March 12, 2006
in the day, was quite bored wif all the rattling of my mum, felt so vexed n wanted to go out... looked for heather then she say nt free cuz of MAPLE... then my saviour came, Mich(godsis) called mi n said she is veri bored so in the end i went to meet her at 4pm... suppossed to meet her at 4pm but then i gt tel her say i need to bathe 1st so in the end late... haha...
we went shoppin tryin to buy this campin pouch for her bf(jerry)... we walked frm marina to suntec then to milliea walk then back to marina again... we bought chocolates frm candy empire... then we saw Olinda... she was like so damn f**kin proud lor... especially when her fans wanna take pic wif her, she was like so smug... wth...
then i sent her to the bus top cuz she meeting Jerry at his place... she was like sayin she gg stay outside n Fa Zhan cuz jerry is slpin like a log n at home gt no one else to open the door for her... such funi couple...
went to DXO for the party aft tt... reached there at ard 9.05pm to take tix frm jackson cuz he say he wil b there at 8plus... in the end, he reached there at ard 9.40pm, so late... there were quite a number of ppl there but mostly all guys...GAY PUB!!!
then i juz stood outside waitin for brennan, david, benjamin, zheng xi... the fashion show started, went to take a peek, it was like so wierd n bad lor... nuthin much so i went out n wait again...
as the night gets longer, made a few new frens... n those ppl can dance damn hot lor... both guys n gals alike lah... then it gt crowded... but the crowd is juz nice... the DJ is damn pro man... as i see couples together dancin n kissing, suddenly missed her so much... wanted to enjoy big time w/o a worry n then lke tt...lolx...
wel... so we juz carried on dancing... the serice in DXO is damn BAD BAD n BAD... we ordered a bottle of Chivas Regal n it took like 2 hrs b4 we realli gt it... damn bad lor... cld hav cum n tel us how long they need mah... then we can decide see whether we wan anot lor... saw 2 old time sec sch fren... Cheng Hui and Ming Hao... haha...they like nv changed at all lor... especially Cheng Hui, eyebrows still haven grow... hahahahahaha...
stayed ard til abt 3 plus then left for home... b4 leaving, went to get Valerie n Sarah's number(they last time frm NPDS) to keep in contact in case can like go out next time or watsoeva...
finally heard her voice today cuz i called her juz now... so hapi... asked her whether r we gonna b serious cuz realli felt like this relationship no diff frm juz mere frens... she dunno how to reply... giving her time to think abt it b4 askin her again... cuz i realli need a serious answer frm her nt like half half...
posted at Sunday, March 12, 2006... bye...
(0) commentsSaturday, March 11, 2006
Dedicated to my beloved Peg
I Cant Get You Out Of My Mind.
I kEeP tHiNkInG aBoUt HoW mUcH i EnJoY tAlKiNg To YoU,
HoW gReAt YoU lOoK wHeN yOu SmIlE,
AnD hOw MuCh I lIkE yOuR lAuGhS.
I dAyDrEaM aBoUt YoU oFf AnD oN aLl DaY,
RePlAyInG pIeCeS oF oUr CoNvErSaTiOn,
LaUgHiNg AgAiN aBoUt FuNnI tHiNgS yOu SaId Or DiD.
I hAv MeMoRiZeD uR fAcE,
AnD tHe WaY yOu LoOkEd At Mi
It MeLtS mY hEaRt EvErYtImE i ThInK aBoUt It
AnD i CaTcH mYsElF sMiLiNg
WhEnEvEr I iMaGiNe WhAt WiLl HaPpEn
NeXt TiMe We'Re ToGeThEr.
YoU mUsT bE sUmThInG sPeCiAl
BeCaUsE i CaNt ReMeMbEr FeElInG sO sTrOnGlY fOr SoMeOnE.
EvEn ThOuGh We DuNnO wAt ThE fUtUrE hOlDs,
I'm SuRe Of OnE tHiNg --
YOU ARE THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO MI IN A VERY LONG TIME
posted at Saturday, March 11, 2006... bye...
Friday, March 10, 2006
y whenever my feelings grow for sum1 or sumthing, there wil b things tt happen tt is nt gg the way i wanted? i feel so distant frm her, i dunno wat to do... i mis her so much n the missing part grows each passing min,moment,time n days... think this time i realli wanna b serious... but izzit gonna work out at all?
huimin did ask mi to wait 4 her return... think tts the onli thing i can do now... this sat she wil b back but then... haiz... too much tots, but dunno how to express...
met up wif Henry last night for supper, pool n chit-chat til this morning 6am... though late but damn fun, we tok alot, catched up alot n like old time bros... so different the feeling...
i do get lotsa of freedom frm viv, tt i can go n do wateva i like n she oso can but, does gvin freedom cuz sum1 to turn distant frm u? mich n i was like tt... shld i follow n start restricting? but if i do, wil it show tt there's no trust? haiz... as i said.. too mani tots but no way to express it... wanna find sum1 whu can realli hear mi out n advice on my issue but til now, there's none...
the most matured Amelia... hopefully she can n can make time 4 mi this evening... she said she might hav programmes so might nt b able to meet mi... does matured advice work in my situation? does it apply to my relationship? i dunno... is she realli too young? but there is no age limit in a relationship, is there? ARGH!!! CONFUSED!!!
WHERE ARE YOU? WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK HERE
posted at Friday, March 10, 2006... bye...
Thursday, March 09, 2006
wel... was watchin the match between Arsenal and Real Madrid, juz finished actually... in the mean time, i did do alot of thinkin... especially regarding viv n i...
how do we realli live on a relationship tt has almost zero communication? i dunno... though we nt gonna fully commit into this relationship, at least there shld b communication rite? i realli kinda confused now... wel, sld i wait on for her reply regardin this matter? or shld i juz ignore? i'll wait 4 her return frm her field trip b4 decidin wats our next move bah... i already beginnin to sense the tension we r gonna hav...
i did tok 2 huimin abt wat happened but like no advice, juz a listening ear onli...lolx.. i dunno... shldnt bother her bah as she herself gt things up her own life tt she cant realli handle tt wel... lolx... muz b there for my frens in trouble now as they were there for mi when i needed ppl the most... currently tryin to write a song for all of them... still considering whether shld b English or Chinese... pls comment n advice pals...
was supposed to meet Princess n her bro for supper today but then last min cancel cuz they hav sumthin tmr morning... yah.. so bo bian... she said wld make it up to mi,wel...i'm waiting..lolx...
met david then wif his fren(emily i think), they were studyin at my void deck so like went over n tok... i like disturbin both of them like tt... felt kinda bad though as this is their exams week... then tot of how mich n i usually quarrel durin exams time... now, mich n my story realli serve as a huge lesson... there r things tt can nv b forgotten n so it shall b a memory foreva... i choose to rmb the gd 1s though.. all the sweet things tt happened...
sum1 ever asked mi, wld i do the same for wat i did for mich for the next gal tt walk into my life(viv), i told her nope i wun... becuz, it wldnt b sincere at all n wld juz prove tt wat i did for mich is pointless n meaningless... wat i wanna do for the next 1 wld b beta than the previous and wif more heart n love in it...
tired liao n oso kinda disappointed tt Real Madrid didnt qualify fir next rd... lolx...
PATIENTLY WAITING FOR YOUR RETURN SAFELY
posted at Thursday, March 09, 2006... bye...
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
took a nap juz now n then woke up to watch the match between Chelsea n Barcelona... Princess woke mi up, Erin suppossed to wake mi but then luckily i woke her up instead...
missin vv rite now but when my mind noe tt she is slpin soundly n of cuz cutely, i felt at ease... she gg field trip in malaysia on thursday, gonna mis her bad though...
wel... think i might hav made erin angry or irrtated leh... wil apologize to her 1st thing tmr... cuz i teased her when Barcelona scored... dun wanna lose a fren juz becuz of a ball or match... y i nv think thru my thick skull b4 tokin? hopefully she nt tt petty 1... lolx...
tmr muz wake up at 1pm, return the favor to the one whu woke mi up... lolx... but then, the real person tt i wanna cal n hear the voice of wun b home til like 5pm cuz she gg shoppin for her field trip... haha... think our relationship quite interesting...
gtg try slp liao... otherwise realli cannot wake up on time then i die liao n wil cuz Princess to b late for work...
TRUST MI WHEN I SAY TAT I WILL TRY MY BEST TO MAKE THINGS WORK OUT
posted at Wednesday, March 08, 2006... bye...
(0) commentsTuesday, March 07, 2006
2wks liao... finally together... haha... so fortuante to hav her... the feelings now is speechless...
i asked her again juz now over MSN, she said yes... i was shocked... realli... finally dream dream so long finally mine... lolx...so hapi... when she said yes, i dunno how to carry on the conversation liao... cuz realli speechless... XIN FU DE GAN JUE so enjoyable...
juz started so muz see how... dare not juz commit totally so juz watch n see how... muz apply those lessons tt i learnt... believe it wld help mi b a beta man for her... lolx...
posted at Tuesday, March 07, 2006... bye...
Monday, March 06, 2006
read "the lame blog" today and saw wat she wrote... every word sending a piercing sword into my heart, felt realli miserable... juz as she ask"why the person she like hav sum1 else", i asked myself "y the person i like dun like mi?" but i still waitin, no need to b together juz wanna b tat person whu is the shoulder when she cry, the ear when she is troubled, the clown when she sad and the punchin bag when she is angry...
tok to her juz now over the phone... she say she wanna cry liao cuz of her family, i was reallli upset n hurt... how cum? i realli dun understand y it hurts...haiz... another unanswered question...
tok 2 one of my fren(karen) then noe tat actually she hav her own set of probs 1... able to like see n advice her a little in wat she lookin 4... our conversation was quite humorous, one min she was like advicing mi the next i was the one there for her... lolx...
in the whole thing, i found out sumthing... we as humans can onli see the faults n situations of others and not that of ours... wel...i finally noe n see tat actually she is nt suitable for mi, 1yr9mth say long nt long,short nt short but i was realli blind then... i can see now finally wat is best 4 mi...
WOULD YOU MARRY MI?
posted at Monday, March 06, 2006... bye...
Sunday, March 05, 2006
made a new fren... 1st time see her is during a MJ session at my place.. lolx... then now, we can chat more like frens... she is my Zhong Shi Tin Zhong... lolx... juz hear n hear n listen onli...lol... how i noe cuz yesterday mornin aft MOS, i met her for breakfast as i cant slp mah... then tel her my story then she realli juz listen, no comments one.. like wah... this "princess" veri cute 1 leh...always tease her like nobody's business and her reaction is like so funi... hehe... lookin forward to our next meetin on the table...
thinkin of this babe ever since MOS, nt the "princess" i meantioned above though.. lolx.. sum1 else... hehe... nt gg to say her name her... cuz it juz infactuation n juz a crush so no point... she muz b attached man... but then... my happiness, dunno cum back frm her camp liao anot leh... still owe mi an answer leh... haha
went back to church to see see ytd... then saw a few of my old frens... haha, feeling is great but i still considering whether to return anot... there r things tat happened and struck mi but then muz consider seriously 1st b4 moving on, toherwise gonna get lost n the desert again... lolx...
posted at Sunday, March 05, 2006... bye...
Saturday, March 04, 2006
went clubbing at MOS... 1st time there so went to explore... frm the internet, knew they had many rooms(R&B,HOUSE,RETRO,Private Rooms and a room for above 25), damn big and a guest DJ there today...
at first everythin was fine, ok as i went wif Shimin and David, thru her noe her frens, saw Cheryl,Karen,Alan,Deborah,Eric frm NPDS... then saw sum of my old time frens like Gwen,Rachel,Shi Ting, Xue Ting,Andy,Clyric and Mike... haha... so hapi...
everythin in there was so systematic... so excited...
gt damn crowded into the night, over crowding into the area... my god... dun even hav space to move my legs... damn pissed, suddenly tot of her... veri down n sad suddenly, all the past memories all return liao... my greatest fear finally came again...
apart frm all these... the 4 gals of my life again started popping their names n face into my mind again... haiz... confused confused n confused...
luckily i hav a gd fren shimin there wif mi... wah... w/o her, i dunno how long i can last there in the night... felt like juz punchin sum1 or sumthing, all my anger juz bottled up too much and too long at 1 go...
finally cooled down juz b4 we left,thks to Shimin, thks man... realli hapi to hav a fren like u, a true fren whu is there n wil nv betray my trust no matter wat... actually aprt frm Shimin, in my life i hav Huimin,Kang Qi, Amelia,Karen and my cousin... damned glad n fortunate... 1mth le n they are always there 4 mi... damn grateful(THANKS PALS)!!!!
posted at Saturday, March 04, 2006... bye...
Friday, March 03, 2006
wel... nowadays hav been slpin realli late... realli cant slp... too troubled or to b precise, sad n confused...
i realli dunno wat i wan nowadays... wat is my directions, my meaning in life, my goal?... i used to hav them til the day she left... so confused... it hurts when i read her blog, it hurts when the memories haunt mi back, it hurts when she broke her last promise of being frens, it hurts when we r complete strangers... pain in my heart like a spear, straight into it n pullin it out over n over again... how i wish tat spear cld hav juz killed my heart at 1 go then i wun hav to go thru all these...
though i might have found happiness in sum1 else now, but i wonder... is tat real? i wanna give it a shot, a try but i dare not... wat if they r nt real? wat if she gets hurt? i dunno... CONFUSED...
everythin in my life now seems like a MAZE, onli 1 way out but i dunno which way...juz charge at any opening hopefully its the correct 1... how? advise frm frens? or rely on my own strength? izit realli gonna help? does time realli heals? or is it the mind n heart tat heals on its own?
realli feel like breakin down but for those whu r ard mi, i muz stand strong, how long can i last? how long can i stand? how long can i tolerate n how much can i take? i juz mere human, mere man...
fav pastime is to play guit... but even my guit is a gift frm her, how to forget? how to get over? how to stand up strong? 1 month, the longest i ever held on to sumthing...
had a tok wif my cousin last night(4am this morning) over MSN... she said i cant get over as too much events happened, too much i given, too much i've taken n received... i think so too... but wat can i do? haiz... sadded... feel like cryin but tears r all dried up liao... my god... wats the point of life, wats the point of living? wats the point in havin a soul when all in the end are all meaningless...
posted at Friday, March 03, 2006... bye...
Marcus Yeo
19/11/1985
Age : 20
Area : Hougang/Paya Lebar
Family
My SeaGull
Friends
Drinking
Clubbing
Playing Piano
Playing Guitar
Liars
Backstabbers
People whu Take Others for Granted
TwO TiMeRs