
Friday, March 03, 2006
wel... nowadays hav been slpin realli late... realli cant slp... too troubled or to b precise, sad n confused...
i realli dunno wat i wan nowadays... wat is my directions, my meaning in life, my goal?... i used to hav them til the day she left... so confused... it hurts when i read her blog, it hurts when the memories haunt mi back, it hurts when she broke her last promise of being frens, it hurts when we r complete strangers... pain in my heart like a spear, straight into it n pullin it out over n over again... how i wish tat spear cld hav juz killed my heart at 1 go then i wun hav to go thru all these...
though i might have found happiness in sum1 else now, but i wonder... is tat real? i wanna give it a shot, a try but i dare not... wat if they r nt real? wat if she gets hurt? i dunno... CONFUSED...
everythin in my life now seems like a MAZE, onli 1 way out but i dunno which way...juz charge at any opening hopefully its the correct 1... how? advise frm frens? or rely on my own strength? izit realli gonna help? does time realli heals? or is it the mind n heart tat heals on its own?
realli feel like breakin down but for those whu r ard mi, i muz stand strong, how long can i last? how long can i stand? how long can i tolerate n how much can i take? i juz mere human, mere man...
fav pastime is to play guit... but even my guit is a gift frm her, how to forget? how to get over? how to stand up strong? 1 month, the longest i ever held on to sumthing...
had a tok wif my cousin last night(4am this morning) over MSN... she said i cant get over as too much events happened, too much i given, too much i've taken n received... i think so too... but wat can i do? haiz... sadded... feel like cryin but tears r all dried up liao... my god... wats the point of life, wats the point of living? wats the point in havin a soul when all in the end are all meaningless...
posted at Friday, March 03, 2006... bye...
Marcus Yeo
19/11/1985
Age : 20
Area : Hougang/Paya Lebar
Family
My SeaGull
Friends
Drinking
Clubbing
Playing Piano
Playing Guitar
Liars
Backstabbers
People whu Take Others for Granted
TwO TiMeRs