
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
depressed now... veri.. what can i do? those of u whu noes mi wld noe wat happened... haiz...
i feel like a loser. i broke up liao... is this really freedom? or just a beginning of another torture moment? so mani ppl so hapi 4 mi tat i am single i am, but y dun i share tat same joy? i hav onli myself to blame tat i was nt able to make my "dear" love mi more when she was wif mi... for those whu wanna noe wat i did, this as follows :
the night before(05/02/06), i packed my clothes getting ready to meet "dear" the next day and following it, i packed a durian knife in too... i was prepared to die wif "dear"... then spoke wif my gd fren Shimin n she told mi nt to do foolish things. i listened but in the end, i still did nt take it out of my bag...
on (06/02/06) after work, i went to meet her. i bought her sandwiches and carrot juices for her and went to look for her at the canteen. saw her at the canteen wif her frens... so i tested and called her HP, she purposely did nt pick up and i tried callin her fren sitting rite beside her. he looked at the phone and consulted "dear". it seems to mi tat she was the one whu didnt want him to ans(she claimed otherwise).
i walked up to her and ignored tat fren of hers completely... i asked her nicely to go sumwhere else to tok but she gave mi a NO wif an attitude wif a CAPITAL A!!! wat to do, under her control again... so i asked her again and her NO got louder each passing time. she tried to walk away and i tried to stop her by holding her hands... she resisted and i refused to let go. then her whole claz(at least 5-6) came to push mi one by one and said tat tats "protecting" her.
i chased and followed her all the way... reached a staircase and started quarrelling and shouting... how you all think i wld feel after being pushed by so mani guys? she has so mani guys ard her... wat does she make herself look? i dunno... to mi she is still perfect...
followed her to the clazrm n i stood outside to wait... now the "male lead" came out and talked to mi... as if i wld listen to him because after all, i came to talk to "dear" n nt him...
this male lead i talking abt is a guy in her claz... i trusted him always believing he is a gentleman tat he wld b the onli person tat can realli stand by her when she needs help in hr SCHOOL WORK... indeed it came true... he now realli did stand by her not onli in school...
aft a whole arguement AGAIN, finally "dear" sms mi n said tat we wld settle it aft sch...
so i met up wif her aft sch... i was there early and the claz was having a test... one of her clazmate came out n tok to mi... this guy was different, he came talkin 2 mi wif an intention of askin mi to realli decide my future n tat he was the onli 1 whu cld hav noe how i felt... he told mi his story n oso started weepin... i shared his visions n tat i felt tat connected in a way... so i listened n tried to set my mind peace(in the meantime, i was oso talkin loudly out of anger)...
finally gt to talk to her, but they actually asked a tutor to cum talk to us... this tutor is veri irritatin, he dun take NO for an answer... u hav to explain over n over again... he said he was a professionally trained councillor... i was too... aft 5 min, i asked him to leave cuz i was realli nt comfortable wif him... finally "dear" n mi to clear the air...
i told her tat i didnt mind her loving sum1 else because it my fault as i did realli treat her badly... sumthin tat i learned nt to do if there wil ever b a next GF(i realli hope it wld still b her)... i told her i was sori... i came out wif conditions for her to follow if she realli wans a complete breakup...
1) treat mi as a fren - wats so difficult rite?
2)hav a last outing wif mi as a fren - challengin for her, but payin back for cheatin on mi, cheap rite?
at the end of it, she agreed to 1 but nt 2... when her fren heard abt the conditions frm the tutor, her clazmates laughed at mi, and they actually gt solded by him... there again i felt bad tat they gt sclded... like 4 my mistakes, sum1 else is payin the price...
aft the whole breakup incident, i spoke wif the guy... He said sori to mi n shook my hands, i was so angry wif him... WHY DO SUM1 NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR LIKING/LOVING SUM1????
i scolded him and asked him not to say sori because he love "dear"... i cannot stand it and was veri angry... i told him... i blamed him because i trusted him so much but when such events happened, he didnt hav the guts to ans my phone(i called him 2 days ago) and say it to mi... things wld realli hav been much better if they told mi earlier... i told him tat if can say earlier, we might hav been able to settle it in Starbuck or Coffee Bean where 3 of us sit down n talk things thru...
i know "dear" realli found one tat can take care of her this time as i still trust him as a fren as a gentleman... i told him to nv b ashamed of loving sum1 n tat nv look down when things happened cuz he muz b gutsy enough to STAND UP LIKE A MAN for "dear"...
aft the man-to-man tok, i asked "dear" to cum in n for the last time, i kissed her forehead GOODBYE... i dunno y, it hurt but i smiled at her... wanted to hug her for the last time but i didnt, hands juz wun move... i brought her to him n wished them all the best... i walked off n then went to her clazmates n shook their hands saying sori.. though there were still a few tat gave ATTITUDE... i didnt blame them...
at least now i know tat "dear" is in gd hands... i'm HAPPY FOR THE BOTH of THEM!!!
DEAR... I LOVE YOU ALWAYS... I WILL... REALLY... TAT YOU CAN REALLI COUNT ON MI...
I REALLI STILL WANNA BE FRENS!!! no chance as BF/GF, at least a fren? ( i hope)
LOVE YOU ALWAYS...
Death of my Realtionship
End of chapters
no longer MY4evaMY its now M Y4eva M Y
posted at Tuesday, February 07, 2006... bye...
Marcus Yeo
19/11/1985
Age : 20
Area : Hougang/Paya Lebar
Family
My SeaGull
Friends
Drinking
Clubbing
Playing Piano
Playing Guitar
Liars
Backstabbers
People whu Take Others for Granted
TwO TiMeRs